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Everybody Hates Eggs is the eleventh episode of the second season of Everybody Hates Chris.


For a class project, Chris has to take care of an egg as if it were a baby. While Greg takes the project seriously, Chris is inclined to treat the assignment as an easy grade, until his mother finds out about it. To discourage Chris from becoming a real-life father, Rochelle makes Chris wake up in the middle of the night to take care of the egg. All goes well for a while until Chris loses the egg. Meanwhile, Julius is concerned about the increase in the electric bill. He discovers that Tonya has been sleeping with the light on because she is afraid Drew will turn into a werewolf.


Ms. Morello: Chris, we have an uneven number of boys and girls in our class so I thought I'd make you a single father. I know it's something you can relate to with your childhood and all.
Chris: I have a father.
Ms. Morello: I know Chris. If only your Mom knew his name.

Chris (narrating): It seemed like everyone else had advice for raising a baby. Kill Moves: You need to teach this boy how to protect himself. Now, I suggest the Brazilian two-finger neck snap! Want me to show you how it works? Mr. Omar: Teach the baby to honor the mother and the father, and if the father should meet a tragic death, the baby shouldn't be upset if the mother makes friends with a nice man. Woman: (off-screen) Omar, I need more bubbles! Mr. Omar: Gotta go. Risky: Teach this baby the difference between the knock-offs and the real thing. For instance, "Gucci" does not have an "H" in it.

(Chris gets a brown egg to care for) Ms. Morello: They're all the same on the inside. Chris (narrating): Except my egg's gonna get pulled over by the police more.

Ms. Morello: If you crack, break or eat your baby, you will get an F. Chris (narrating): Okay, but if my egg misbehaves, can I beat it?

Chris (narrating): I was so scared of bringing home babies that to this day-- my mother still hasn't seen my kids.